“ Since she started second, Blandine has been collecting bad grades in math, even though it’s a subject that she particularly likes, ” Magalie, 39 years old.
“ My 13-year-old son disrupts the lessons and accumulates the marks below the average, despite my warnings, I am distraught ” Christophe is 35 years old.
” Entered sixth grade a half year prior, my child isn’t doing it any longer. Grades drop each quarter, yet he works a ton… “Mouna, 30 years of age.
Here are 3 very different issues, yet the purpose is the same: We, parents, are anxious, and often it is a source of conflict with our teenagers. So how to interpret my child’s notes and above all, how to react to them? The answer here:
INTERPRETING THE CHILD’S BAD GRADES
It’s not easy to take a step back when your teenager brings you a 6/20 in maths home … Nevertheless, before drawing any hasty conclusions, try to ask yourself these few questions:
ARE BAD GRADES RARE OR RECURRING?
Rather rare: When bad grades are rare, nothing to worry about. On the other hand, it is important to understand with the child what happened so that it does not happen too often. Ask him what he did not understand if the problem came more from the instruction or from a notion not understood during the lesson. Did he have time to prepare for this check, if not why?
Be careful not to be too instant. Indeed, you could point it or transmit your anxiety to it, and therefore produce the opposite of the desired effect. So we don’t make a whole cheese of it as we say!
Rather recurring: If bad grades are recurrent, we must act quickly to prevent gaps from setting in: understand the “why and how” and find solutions. Quickly ask for an appointment with his headteacher and identify the cause of his bad grades: the problem of comprehension, lack of work, difficulties in writing, lack of concentration… The causes are multiple.
Once you have understood the situation, discuss it with your child, you will be able to understand his needs and put in place adapted solutions.
ARE BAD GRADES PRESENT IN ALL SCHOOL SUBJECTS?
One subject, in particular, is problematic: If the child is struggling in only one subject, try to understand why he is struggling. Doesn’t he like this matter? Does he not understand the concepts discussed in class? In both cases, put in place tools to help them get organized and work on this subject: revision schedules, examples of revision sheets to follow for each chapter, etc.
Set goals together, but be careful, take it slow, don’t ask too much of it all at once.
If the difficulties persist, do not hesitate to call on outside help. For example, you can set up tutoring over a quarter in the subject in question.
All the subjects pose a problem: We must then determine if it is a one-off problem, and in this case find the cause of the child’s discomfort, or if the drop in grades persists, and there we have to look further to understand where their misunderstandings or lack of motivation come from. Sometimes it is a lack of self-confidence, so the teenager wonders why work if he does not feel capable of succeeding. This often reflects a fear of growing up.
Warning! If your child has real difficulties in primary or college, it is better to rule out all possibilities whether it is a visual impairment, hearing, or even language disorders. Ask him the question and have him take examinations with specialists if the doubt arises.
ARE BAD GRADES A REFLECTION OF A LACK OF MOTIVATION OR A PROBLEM WITH UNDERSTANDING?
To answer this question, you can discuss it with your teenager or ask for a meeting with his teachers.
It is rather a lack of work: In college / high school, it is not uncommon for him to have other concerns than schooling. It is a period when he forges his personality and where new issues arise for him. In this case, the drop in grades is not immediately alarming, but it can lead to a lack of knowledge and therefore to repetition. So you have to act quickly to get your teenager on the right track!
He does not understand the concepts discussed at school: Sometimes, it happens that the child works a lot (sometimes even too much) and that the bad marks fall all the same. In this case, it is very (very very) important to accompany the child so that he does not feel alone. If he feels abandoned, he can lose all self-confidence and completely abandon the idea that he will be able to succeed one day: NO!
Set a score to accomplish for a test, and in case it isn’t reached, return to its duplicate together to consider what was not perceived. Help him revise and practice as much as you can. If you are unable to help him with his work, you can call on educational support organizations that offer multiple online courses like STEM learning, Mental Math, Rubiks Cube Solving, and Coding Course for kids which will help your child find a methodology that suits him.
Also warn his teachers, so that he does not think that it is due to a lack of work and who can also support him.
RESPOND TO BAD GRADES
BE POSITIVE WITH YOUR CHILD
Put yourself in the place of a teenager who has just collected a 6/20: he is inevitably disappointed. (even if sometimes he does not let it be known). So do not add a layer, that would risk causing him a double penalty!
Take back his copy and take a look at what he has achieved before looking at the negatives.
“You passed this exercise! Great, how did you do it?! ”. These are encouraging phrases that push your child to the top.
LET GO OF HOMEWORK
Be careful not to put too much pressure on your children, otherwise, they will be traumatized during their next bad grade or during a homework assignment. Encourage them and find small compromises between you that could motivate him!
Do not ask him every evening if he has had any notes, do a checkup every two weeks for example.
About the Guest Author – Archana Agarwal
Archana Agarwal is a Postgraduate in International Management from the University of Strathclyde, Scotland, an Entrepreneur, a proud mother to a 7-year-old, and Founder- CEO of Aark Learnings a leading online educational platform that provides skill-based holistic education and experiential learning to the new generation kids which help in their growth and overall development.